Been getting lots of holiday mail?
Maybe you'll respond like this teller. But it IS better with the caption.
If you're free of interest in our every-now-and-then holiday blog, we certainly understand and wish you and yours very happy holidays!
Love, Jim and Beth
Otherwise:
It is really nice of those you who are interested enough in our doings to stick around. Or maybe pathetic. I know a thing or two about pathetic wastes of time and will do my best to make you feel better about yours by telling you about one of them. But first a few disclaimers:
1. This activity was not endorsed by Beth.
2. Beth actually does worthwhile things (like teaching).
3. You can be disappointed in me but I refuse to be pitied.
4. Some of you may have seen this before. Your karma must have run dry.
5. At the Ignobel Awards at Harvard, recipients who go on for more than half-a-minute are confronted by a little girl yelling, "Please stop! I'm bored!" over and over until they stop. Feel free to yell and go back to something that doesn't waste your time - like solitaire.
6. I take comfort in the knowledge that there are others who spend their time in unproductive activities. Examples:
You'll see the Dagwood connection right away. Here goes:
Really, this is embarrassing. Just a ghoulish waste of
time. It started with a harmless
musing. When we moved to Eugene in
the 70s, our next-door neighbors were an elderly couple originally from North
Dakota. And it turned out that
most in their circle of friends were from North Dakota too.
One day (here’s the ghoulish part), I was looking through
the obituaries and noticed a lot of those who had passed on were
from the Dakotas. My
hypothesis: A lot of folks in
their 80s living in Eugene came here from North and South Dakota. How many? Well, why not keep track from the obituaries? (Why not? Actually, everyone who knew I was doing it had reasons why
not!)
Ignoring their sage advice, from March to August of last
year, I tallied the birth state for each person listed. And though I did find out I was wrong about the
Dakotas (North had the 16th most – 1.5% - and South, the 22nd - 1%), gradually the quest morphed
into a morbid contest to see what state would show up last. Before the drum roll announcing the winning state, here are some high- (or
low-) lights from the data:
- 210 out of 667 (31%) came from Oregon. Most who died way too young were Oregonians but a surprising number in their 80s to 100s were too.
- California (10%) and Washington (5%) came next. Surprisingly, Illinois and Oklahoma tied for number 4 at 3%.
- Some western states were less generous: Wyoming (3 obits), Utah (3), Alaska (2), Hawaii (1) and Nevada (1). (Useless data on all states are in the chart on the bottom of this post.)
After six months I quit tallying but I did keep looking for
the three states that still had no obituaries. Kentucky came pretty quickly but Vermont held out for four
more months. Finally, 15 months
after the start, the last state appeared.
Ironically, it turned out to be the state with the license plate
motto: “The First State” - it was
the first of the 13 colonies to ratify the Constitution.
So, I suppose that if you moved to the area from Delaware,
you could feel like this highly scientific survey could mean that of the next
1500 or so people you see, you’ll be the last to go. Or you may just purge it from your brain because, like the President and Olympic gymnast McKayla Maroney, you may not be impressed.
Either way, may your 2013 be much more productive but just as happy as our 2012!
Love to you all, Jim and Beth
Still looking for a way to waste time? View this YouTube clip from Portlandia if you've ever been flummoxed by cell phone plans.
| rank | state born | Obituary | percent |
| 6 months | of obituaries | in Eugene | |
| 1 | Oregon | 210 | 31.5% |
| 2 | California | 69 | 10.3% |
| 3 | Washington | 36 | 5.4% |
| 4 | Illinois | 26 | 3.9% |
| 4 | Oklahoma | 26 | 3.9% |
| 6 | Nebraska | 25 | 3.7% |
| 7 | Idaho | 22 | 3.3% |
| 8 | Minnesota | 19 | 2.8% |
| 9 | New York | 18 | 2.7% |
| 10 | Michigan | 17 | 2.5% |
| 11 | Kansas | 15 | 2.2% |
| 11 | Texas | 15 | 2.2% |
| 13 | Colorado | 14 | 2.1% |
| 14 | Iowa | 13 | 1.9% |
| 14 | Wisconsin | 13 | 1.9% |
| 16 | Missouri | 10 | 1.5% |
| 16 | Montana | 10 | 1.5% |
| 16 | North Dakota | 10 | 1.5% |
| 16 | Pennsylvania | 10 | 1.5% |
| 20 | Indiana | 9 | 1.3% |
| 21 | Ohio | 8 | 1.2% |
| 22 | Arkansas | 7 | 1.0% |
| 22 | South Dakota | 7 | 1.0% |
| 24 | Arizona | 6 | 0.9% |
| 24 | New Mexico | 6 | 0.9% |
| 26 | Virginia | 4 | 0.6% |
| 27 | Louisiana | 3 | 0.4% |
| 27 | New Hampshire | 3 | 0.4% |
| 27 | New Jersey | 3 | 0.4% |
| 27 | North Carolina | 3 | 0.4% |
| 27 | South Carolina | 3 | 0.4% |
| 27 | Utah | 3 | 0.4% |
| 27 | Wyoming | 3 | 0.4% |
| 34 | Alabama | 2 | 0.3% |
| 34 | Alaska | 2 | 0.3% |
| 34 | Florida | 2 | 0.3% |
| 34 | Georgia | 2 | 0.3% |
| 34 | Maine | 2 | 0.3% |
| 34 | Massachusetts | 2 | 0.3% |
| 34 | Mississippi | 2 | 0.3% |
| 34 | Tennessee | 2 | 0.3% |
| 42 | Connecticut | 1 | 0.1% |
| 42 | Maryland | 1 | 0.1% |
| 42 | Nevada | 1 | 0.1% |
| 42 | Rhode Island | 1 | 0.1% |
| 42 | West Virginia | 1 | 0.1% |
| 47 | Hawaii | 0 | 0.0% |
| 47 | Kentucky | 0 | 0.0% |
| 47 | Vermont | 0 | 0.0% |
| 47 | Delaware | 0 | 0.0% |
